Saturday, March 19, 2011

Is your child a 'prosti-tot'?

Most little girls like glitter and pearls. Right?

And nail varnish.
And dressing up.
Wearing lilac and pink.
All that stuff that I disapproved of before I had my girlie girl.

But where to draw the line? What is the point where you raise your fist and shout to the masses "NO MORE! My six year old will NOT have her hair straightened! Or wear clicky-clacky pole dancers shoes with a picture of Cinderella on the front. Or wear a t-shirt that says 'Boy Magnet'.

Because this is the dilemma I am faced with. My daughter is officially queen of the girlie girls (although she is a kick-ass Princess Leia when playing with the boys) and would love nothing more than to look like a Southern Belle in a full pageant regalia. Full time.

The other day she was invited to a 'pamper party' at a salon. Eeeek. I saw a newspaper article about this recently and swooned with horror at the idea of these little girls drinking 'mocktails' in a stretch limo, before being gussied up to look like mini-Dolly Partons.

And here was my daughter, reclining in a salon chair with her nails being buffed, choosing an eyeshadow in an alarming shade of purple.
It was all I have ever, as a die hard feminist, been horrified by. But here's the reason I didn't whip her out of that chair (and the reason why other parents don't either, I suspect) is that she was having the time of her life.
How mushy did I go when I saw a little flock of Disney princesses run past me giggling and twirling. How hilarious was it to see them admire each other's ornate hair-dos. It was all so far removed from my dark brown corduroy and navy velour childhood, where a pudding basin haircut was standard, that I was a little wistful about un-girlie I was.

So the line will be drawn somewhere. She will not have tiny heels on her shoes while her feet are developing. Slogans about boys on t-shirts will always be a no-no. But a bit of lip gloss?
My head says no, my heart says awwwww...


  1. Excellent post. I have 2 boys so can't completely relate but I think I feel your dilemma. My dilemma is about gun noises and everyone wrestling all the time and saying grrrrrrr. Sigh.

  2. I've let my Big Girl go to this kind of party but I will never organize one. I tried to get Big Girl have a lady-like tea party for her birthday this year before she gets too old & isn't into that kind of thing. I've obviously left my run too late (turning 9) because we're having a rock climbing party! Far more Big Girl & maybe it was me who wanted the china cups & cup cakes?
    P.s. I secretly want to deface every "I'm a Diva in Training" kind of kids tshirt!

  3. Hello!
    This is an excellent post. You mirror my sentiments exactly. My nearly 6 year old is already more knowledgeable about too many girly things that I was at 14! I recognise your description of the dull colours and unimaginative childhood and adoloscent colours and styles. I don't want my girls (3 of them.... the others are 4 and 2) to grow up in that kind of dullness but then again I do draw a line where their attire resembles those hateful babies/divas on the catwalk!

  4. hi i just reread some of your old posts and they are great on the reread as well. you must be busy if you aren't blogging, but i miss you!

  5. You sound like a great mum:)

  6. " GIRLY GIRLS"?
    " PROSTI"?
    ROSS "tolled" JONES long ago!

  7. Fabulous! "Prosti-tot"! Sounds like you're striking a good balance. But it's awfully hard on the nerves, isn't it?!

  8. I am with you! My younger daughter has always been obsessed with dresses, high heels and nailpolish while my older one is happier in jeans. I don't see what is wrong with just experimenting with fashion as long as a child is not exploited via child beauty pageants etc.

  9. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com

  10. My daughter is not even three and already asks for lip gloss and painted nails. Whatever gets me (and her)through the day.