Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I want to go home. Only I don't know where home is...

We are not coming back to England. At least, not as of this morning when my husband found out he didn't get the job that would have seen us secure the rest of our lives.

Part of me is happy - the town we would have ended up in made me feel elderly even just looking at it.
Part of me is terrified - there have been so few jobs on offer anywhere that we are in limbo, just waiting and hoping for a job to come up anywhere.
Part of me is desperate - I miss my family in the UK and now we are thinking we may have to look further afield to New Zealand and Australia it has become a reality that we may never live in the same country again.

I feel homesick, but not sure for which home. I think it is the home in my mind where we are secure, my daughter is in a school for longer than a year and my husband is settled in a job, at last.
That home is not here, as this is temporary. It is not in England, they don't seem to want us.

Where is my home now? And if I don't know that, when will this longing end?


  1. Oh sorry love, this sounds really difficult- I hope you end up in the right place for you :)

  2. Oh what a shame. I think you're right though - home is probably where you'll feel settled rather than the place you were brought up. (Cor - that's a bit deep for a Tuesday!)

  3. That sounds so hard. I can't imagine how lost you must be feeling right now *hugs*
    I have my fingers crossed for you that you get some stability in your lives very soon

  4. Thank you so much for the supportive comments. I think I was in a big funk yesterday about it all.
    Feeling happier today, but worried about the future. Think I need to get out and about and do something fun!

  5. Oh, that's tough, especially with a child. My husband is from Australia and I can tell you it's a beautiful place. Does that help? Take care!