A scandal so underground that the government has, for decades, kept the public in the dark about the sheer magnitude of this inequality.
And it's happening in your home, right now...
Yes, I am talking about 'Protected Poo Time'.
The smallest room in the house has become a battleground of the sexes, and mothers are being treated as second class citizens when it comes to Number Twos.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Was your husband/partner in the loo this morning for more than 20 minutes whilst you frantically rallied the troops for the school run?
- When was the last time you were allowed to poo in peace without tiny fingers clawing their way under the door and the word 'Mummmmeeee' being shrieked repeatedly?
- Did your husband take his laptop in with him? If so, yuck.
- Is your idea of luxury is having a poo without your husband occasionally shouting 'darling, have we run out of envelopes?'
If you have answered yes to any of the above, you are not alone. Write to your MP. Demand that men try and have a go at pooping with a tiny bit more rapidity when all your children are having a meltdown at once. Recommend funding for studies into how women can acheive equality with men in this fraught dispute.
Your voice counts, even if your bottom does not.